Ken's stalker
by Deena

Part 4

      There was a silence broken only by the giggles from the two ladies standing in the back. Almost in sync, both Aya and Omi turned to look at the decidedly unhappy couple. Under any other circumstances this would have been funny, but this was not an ordinary circumstance and neither Ken nor Yohji felt like laughing. Omi's eyes looked at big as plates as he stared in mute silence at Yohji and even Aya sported a shocked expression as he gazed at Ken.

      "Yohji-kun and Ken-kun are in love?" Omi gasped. "With each other?"

      "This is...unexpected," Aya remarked, his bland voice contrasting nicely with his astonished expression.

      Birman couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Isn't it cute?" she squealed, her hands clasped together.

      Ken, who finally was able to find his voice managed to choke out, "You're laughing at us because you think we're cute?" He looked ready to retch, his face a pasty bean-green hue.

      They both nodded, sporting mile-wide grins. "I always knew there was something going on between you two," Manx bragged smugly, buffing her nails on her jacket.

      Omi looked confused. "But doesn't Yohji-kun like girls? How can he love Ken-kun too?"

      "It's obvious, Omi. All the girls are a cover-up," Aya explained, smirking.

      Yohji, who had been sitting in stunned silence, woke to a killing frenzy at Aya's words. "The girls aren't a cover-up!" he hollered. "I don't love Ken, I hate him!!! AND I'm NOT GAY!!!!"

      Ken felt more than justified to add a, "Yeah what he said!!!"

      "Now boys, you know we won't judge you," Manx informed them soothingly. "We only want you to be happy. And if that happiness is found with each other, who are we to say anything?"

      Birman bobbed her head in agreement, beaming winningly.

      Omi smiled brightly. Ken-kun and Yohji-kun were in love! How exciting! He didn't know any gay couples but now he did. Kakkoi! "Congratulations!" he yelled joyously. "This calls for a celebration!" He threw some of his math homework into the air.

      "No celebrating!" Yohji thundered, violently swiping at the crumpled papers. "This is all a big mix-up! Tell them, Ken!"

      Ken nodded, still experiencing trauma. "Gertie...marriage...Yohji...kiss...slave..." He glared at Yohji, obviously remembering his cleaning escapades in Yohji's kitchen.

      "Ken-kun's struck dumb with love!" Omi cried delightedly, clapping his hands with glee.

      Yohji reached a long arm around Aya and firmly whacked Ken's head. "You stupid idiot! This is all your fault!" He glowered something fierce at Birman and Manx. "And you two shut the hell up!! Ken and I are not and never will be a couple! Do you hear that?!"

      "They can hear you all the way in Valdisvostok," Aya muttered dryly.

      If looks could kill...nothing would happen since Yohji wasn't looking at Aya.

      Manx raised an eyebrow. "Oh just give it up, Balinese. Birman and I saw you two kissing near the supply shop."

      Birman giggled, which of course was expected. "What a passionate kiss!"

      Ken fell off the sofa. His mouth opened, but no words came out.

      "Does Yohji-kun taste like an ashtray?" Omi wanted to know.

      Yohji tried for outright denial. "We weren't kissing at all!" he screamed. "I just happened to trip and...uh..."

      "Fall on Ken's mouth?" Aya supplied sardonically.

      Omi hooted with laughter. Suddenly a light bulb flicked on. He snapped his fingers. "So that's why so many people were coming into the shop and wishing you guys the best of luck!"

      "I don't know why you two are still in denial if today is your 'coming-out' day," Birman said. "Why would you guys kiss in plain sight if you didn't want anyone to know?"

      "That's what I want to know," Aya added, poker faced. Even though he looked impassive, he was secretly enjoying these...festivities. This was the best fun since the time Yohji accidentally lassoed himself, Omi, Momoe-san's cat and a spider plant with his wire.

      Manx grinned evilly. "Well we could always watch the video to find out."

      Both Ken and Yohji paled. "Video?" they chorused, horrified.

      Birman tugged excitedly on Manx's red jacket. "Look they're even talking together!"

      "I don't care if I'm under aged or not," Omi announced. "I'm staying for the video no matter what."

      "Some tourists caught the moment on their camcorder," Manx explained, holding out the said video. "And we bought it from them."

      "Best 3800 yen I ever spent," Birman commented.

      Yohji decided it was time to utilize his cunningly crafty nature. "3800 yen eh?" he remarked conversationally. Then he promptly hurled himself off of the sofa in an attempt to grab the video.

      Manx rolled her eyes as she tossed the video to Aya. A six-foot tall man flinging himself at her was really not that subtle.

      "Get the fucking video, Ken!"

      Yohji's irate tone snapped Ken from his dazed reverie. "O-oh!" He jumped to his feet and came face to face with Aya's cold visage. "Uh...how's it goin'?" He attempted to make a grab for the video during the distraction of 'small talk' but ending up with a faceful of gleamingly deadly katana.

      Aya glared at Ken as he handed the video to Omi. "Sit down and shut up, Ken."

      Omi slid the video in excitedly. "This is gonna be great!" he enthused. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

      Part of what made a man great was knowing when to admit defeat. Yohji sighed and sank down on the sofa. Ken, who was ready to burst into tears of mortified shame, plopped down onto the sofa, unaware that he was sitting next to his so-called lover. Yohji stared gloomily at the ceiling mourning the loss of his precious reputation while Ken buried his blushing face in his hands, lamenting at the injustice of it all. All he'd ever wanted was to get away from that psycho Gertie. He didn't want to marry her. What was the harm in that? But now, to be shamed in this humiliating way...

      "It's not fair," they both thought at the same time, determined not to watch any bit of the offending video.

      The tape played. Aya fast-forwarded through the endless shots of Tokyo streets and houses and temples and sushi bars and parks and ducks and electronic stores and the sky. Finally the camera panned over a busy street, where two familiar figures were kissing.

      "Oooh oooh rewind!" Omi shrieked. "I wanna see it!"

      Aya rewind the tape and pressed play. Ken found himself peeking through his fingers at the video. Yohji also was unable to help himself from looking.

      On the screen were Ken and Yohji. Yohji's arm was slung around Ken's shoulder and Ken's arm was wrapped around Yohji's waist. The entire room watched with pin-clattering silence as the on-screen Ken stood up on his tiptoes and kissed Yohji full on the mouth.

      Manx and Birman gushed.

      Omi watched with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open. Seeing his teammates sucking face rendered the poor boy speechless. Perhaps he wasn't quite old enough to watch something so...steamy.

      "See here's when it gets French," Aya noted, observing the video meticulously.

      Manx leaned in for a closer look. "Hey you're right! I can see their tongues going at it!"

      Aya looked over at the stunned/outraged/mortified etc. couple. "Congratulations," he intoned solemnly. He tried not to smirk. "So when are you going to make an honest man out of Ken, Yohji?"

      Omi giggled, finding his voice again. "At least you guys won't have to pay for flowers!"

      That did it. Ken was beyond mortified. He'd had more than enough of all this buffoonery. Watching the video, how utterly sadistic! He had to clear things once and for all! He leapt to his feet. "The only reason I kissed Yohji was because of Gertie! She wants to marry me and she's a psycho stalker who doesn't take no for an answer and so I had to pretend I was gay! I don't wanna marry that stupid Gertie!"

      Yohji glared at him. "Why didn't you just say that at the beginning dumbass?"

      Birman looked completely thwarted. "So you mean you guys aren't a couple?"

      "NO!" Yohji and Ken shouted in unison.

      "Where's Gertie in the video?" Aya inquired. He rewound the tape. "I don't see any crazy, stalking girls."

      Yohji and Ken watched the tape in disbelief. The camera was focused only on them; Gertie was completely out of the picture.

      "She was standing beside the tree on the right," Ken muttered.

      Manx and Birman exchanged looks. "Riiiighttttt," they chorused together.

      "Just because you can't see her doesn't mean she wasn't there!" Yohji huffed, glaring at everyone. "And frankly, I wouldn't have kissed Ken if he hadn't forced himself on me!"

      "I didn't force myself on you!" Ken shot back hotly. "You agreed!"

      "I didn't agree to any kissing!"

      "You sure didn't look like you were protesting to me," Aya told him flatly. "In fact, I'd say you liked it."

      "I'd say that too," Manx chimed in. "Besides, how can Ken force you? He's smaller than you. Why don't you guys just admit it? You're a couple. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

      "But we're *not* a couple!" Ken wailed.

      "Well then how come we don't see this mythical Gertie character?" Aya asked.

      "Shut up Aya!" Yohji snapped.

      "I almost believed the Gertie story," Omi piped up. "But now I can see that it's not true." He beamed happily. "You guys are the first gay couple I know!"

      Ken moaned in acute anguish and did what he should have done a long time ago. He ran out of the basement and didn't stop until he was in his bed, under the safety of his two comforters with his head buried deeply under his pillow.

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