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Shades of Grey part 2
"They say the food there is to die for." A woman's voice.
"Man, he's got a hot body. Wonder if can turn a trick good." A man's voice.
"Papa, don't you love me anymore?" A child's voice.
"Papa, don't you love me?"
"God, I hope he can fuck all night."
Ken sat up and bent his head into his hands.
"Why do you hit me, Papa?"
A whimper escaped from his lips, a tear slipped down his cheek.
"Please... stop." The pressure in his head was excruciating. He wanted it to end, this barrage of voices that battered his mind. He wanted nothing but the cessation of this sudden flood of noise. He wanted quiet again. An image of Aya entered the forefront of his mind, making the voices a backdrop to its golden silence. Yes, Aya. He was always calm, silent, and almost serene in his own way. And as Ken concentrated on his teammate, the voices faded into the background until they were nothing more than faint whispers. The tension left his body as silence once again reclaimed the room and his mind. Easing back into Schuldich's bed, Ken breathed a sigh of relief.
Then Ken remembered something Schuldich had said as the redhead had viciously tormented him.
"You with your mundane senses, trying to save the world..."
Mundane senses? Ken would have laughed at the irony of the situation if the situation itself weren't so grave.
"Not so mundane now, am I, Schuldich?" Ken murmured as he tried to formulate his future plans. "No, far from it."
~*~*~*~*~
"Hidaka's in a coma." Crawford's voice prompted Ken to look up from the computer.
"Huh?" The redhead raised an eyebrow.
"Thought you might want to know, considering you had a hand in it."
Ken forced a satisfied smile onto his new face. "Well, the idiot deserved it."
Crawford said nothing as he sat down across from Ken, and began looking through some files he had brought. Forcing his gaze back to the computer screen, Ken managed to keep his expression blank. Yet his thoughts were flying. In a coma? How in the world was he suppose to get his own body back? Last night, he had figured that it might be advantageous to remain in Schwarz as he puzzled over the solution to the body transfer problem. What better way to usurp secrets from Schwarz than to become a member? And with Schuldich's telepathy, finding secrets shouldn't be too difficult. Well, when he learned how to properly control the German's powers, that is. The previous night provided a good indication of what Ken had to learn. At least he had figured out how to properly shield himself that morning; it wasn't that hard, almost instinctual when he thought about it. Powers aside, Ken found the challenging part to be actually "being" Schuldich. Dressing in too-tight clothes that morning, he had inwardly yearned for his comfortable jeans and t-shirt. And after an eternity of getting his hair in place, he had to force himself to act as arrogant and nonchalant as he remembered Schuldich being, something that definitely went against his own nature.
"What are you doing?"
Ken looked up again, this time at the face of the youngest member of Schwarz, Nagi Naoe.
"Nothing. Just trying to figure out who hired us last night." He had worked out that excuse this morning before he got on the computer, a half-truth more than a lie, really. He had wanted to know who was stealing from the lab last night, as well as other things that were hidden in the database. Unfortunately, he wasn't as suave as Omi when it came to these things and had come up with nothing. Apparently, Schwarz had their Omi too, in the form of Nagi who, at the moment, seemed to be glaring at Ken as if he were trespassing.
"If you want to find out, then let me on. I'll see where and when we're supposed to drop off the disks, provided that our employer has contacted us."
Ken then looked at the kid next to him, his face illuminated by the screen. Sad. Nagi was so young and the air of delicacy about him lent him such an aura of innocence. Why was he pulled into this dark underworld? Shouldn't he be in school worrying about teenage stuff?
Suddenly, Ken saw flashes of a hungry little boy, eyes full of desperation and despair. His small barely-clad frame shivered in the cold as everyone passed him by, another poor soul lost in the dregs of humanity. Schwarz had been his salvation, his savior.
"Don't dig around in there."
Ken was jolted back to a pair of flashing eyes by Nagi's sharp command.
"I wasn't..."
"Yes, you were. I felt it."
Ken opened his mouth to apologize but checked himself. Schuldich wouldn't do that - what would he do?
Ken smirked. "But you have such pretty thoughts, bishonen." Nagi flinched, not noticeably but enough for Ken to see. Nagi had his share of demons too and his effeminate features were the cause of a few of them, Ken knew. At least that was the impression he had gotten in the brief glimpse of the boy's mind.
"Well?" Ken changed the subject.
"Nothing yet."
Ken nodded, hiding his disappointment. Seeing that Nagi wasn't going to relinquish his computer again, Ken rose to leave. "I'm going out," he said to no one in particular. Crawford raised an eyebrow but otherwise, no other reaction. Nagi remained engrossed with the screen. Ken left the room, wondering if Schuldich usually stated such things before heading off.
~*~*~*~*
He didn't know what had brought him here - a morbid sense of curiosity? The small hope that everything would be normal again? The urge to see something, anything, just a little familiar?
He stood by the bed, machines whirring and beeping, staring down at himself, well, his own body at least. Figuring out that Weiss was probably using one of Kritiker's private hospitals was simple. The hard part, Ken thought, was sneaking in. However, that didn't prove to be much of a challenge either with Schuldich's power; a little mind manipulation and no one even saw him enter the room. Now he understood how Schuldich had remained unseen that night, and as he slowly got used to these new abilities, Ken was finding them almost...fun.
His body, on the other hand, was another matter. With all the tubes and equipment here, Ken found it painful just looking at himself. Wanting to touch but afraid of the consequences, Ken settled for the next best thing: he looked into the mind.
Darkness. Void. Nothing. And...
Ken let out an audible gasp and took a step back, eyes wide in astonishment. Schuldich was in there, trapped, slowly going insane because of the silence. Ken shook his head, unsure of what to do, unbelieving of the quirks in this twisted situation.
"Schwarz." The venom and hatred that laced the one word almost made Ken fearful of what had just entered behind him. Yet, he turned to look and met flashing violet eyes filled with anger, disgust, and something Ken couldn't identify. A touch of insanity?
Aya.
Ken had only ever seen that look on Aya once, when the group had taken down Takatori; then, Aya had been avenging the wrongs done to his family, and never in his life had Ken ever wanted to be on the receiving end of Aya's hatred. Unfortunately, the man standing before him had murder on his face, and nothing less than death would have sufficed.
"Aya, I..." Before any more words could leave his mouth, the so-called leader of Weiss lunged at him, uncaring that he had no weapon but his bare hands. Ken dodged easily, being calmer and anticipating his friend's moves.
"Aya, stop. This isn't..."
"I swear I will kill you, even if it takes the rest of my life." The vehemence in Aya's voice shocked Ken. Never had he thought to hear such words directed at him from Aya of all people, regardless that this was Schuldich's body. Ken just wasn't used to receiving threats, especially from Aya, his teammate, his friend.
"I will kill you..." The words echoed in his head, along with some others that leaked from Aya's mind.
Aya...Ken fought an urge to hold his friend.
He wanted to explain but the fury he witnessed in every line of Aya's body and the approaching footsteps - probably Youji and Omi - prevented him from doing so. There was no reason in Weiss right now, not when one of theirs was on the brink of death. Next time perhaps.
Using the same mind-blocking trick he had used to enter the hospital, Ken made his escape. It hurt him to leave Aya like that, his rage so potent and yet so unresolved since, for all appearances, Schuldich had just disappeared. Ken hurried down the hall, passing Youji and Omi who didn't see him either. His friends, his only family... Ken blinked back a suspicious burning in his eyes, swallowed past the lump in his throat, and left the hospital.
*~*~*~*~*
He was a Weiss member through and through. Ken stared up at Schuldich's dark ceiling, pondering his next step. And being a member of Weiss, he was going to bring down Schwarz. A rather ambitious dream but attainable since he was now a member of the so-called team; all he had to do was find a way to sabotage them. But how was he to approach Weiss, looking as he did, without getting killed? An image of Aya's burning eyes appeared in his mind - that was something he never wanted to see again. Damn, who would have thought he'd be in such an odd dilemma? What he wouldn't give to...
The click of his door drew Ken away from his thoughts. He had forgotten to lock the door, too engrossed in this afternoon's event, and he mentally berated himself for such a crucial oversight.
"What do you want?"
Crawford said nothing as he silently made his way over to Ken.
"You," came Crawford's harsh whisper. Before Ken could react, the American's lips were on his, demanding and assertive. Ken leaned back onto the bed, suppressing a gasp as Crawford forced his way atop him, lips still working against the redhead's.
Ken fought an overwhelming urge to shove his assailant off, an urge that was dampened when he felt Crawford's tongue attempt to breach his unresponsive lips. In its place, he felt an unfamiliar heat spread throughout his body, which instinctively began to open itself to the older man's advances. Schuldich's lips answered Crawford's challenge, matching the latter's fervor and intensity with some of its own.
"I've been waiting for you all day," Crawford began unbuttoning his partner's shirt, lips never leaving their target. "I let you off last night but tonight, I plan on making up for it." Ken felt Crawford's hands on his body, sliding, touching, feeling. He heard a whimper and could only assume it was his own. What was happening? Why was he responding to this? Crawford's lips then disappeared and Ken almost cried out at its loss. Before long, however, Ken felt the American's lips again, moving along his jaw line, toward a sensitive spot on his neck. Yet, the anticipation, the want, the desire that Ken felt was far from being assuaged. He found himself bending down to reclaim Crawford's mouth. He found his hands working busily to remove his partner's clothes. He found himself wanting to touch and taste the man responsible for all these new sensations. And he found himself wishing to please his partner so that in return, this unknown urge, this burning need could finally be resolved.
~*~*~*~*~
Ken awoke with a start. The room was still dark and all was still quiet. It wasn't morning yet, but something was different. Then... the soft breathing at his side brought his memories rushing back.
Crawford. And him.
Ken lied there, eyes open, unbelieving of the events that had just transpired. What had caused him to do what he just did? It seemed so natural to respond to Crawford's actions, kiss for kiss, touch for touch. He then turned to stare at the sleeping form beside him. That face, unguarded in sleep, seemed so relaxed and serene, free of the burden's placed upon a leader of Schwarz. And his mind...Ken perked up in interest. The American's mind was unguarded at the moment, too.
Feelings of guilt aside, Ken took the opportunity to delve into his bed partner's mind. Unsure of what he may find, he braced himself for the worst. Even so, Ken was slightly surprised at what he saw: there was no cold-blooded killer or calculating nemesis sleeping within Crawford's psyche. Instead, Ken found a lonely boy, neglected by his father, and abhorred by his mother. That little boy's powers had frightened those around him, forcing him to live in a solitary world of isolation and loneliness. Ken's heart went out to the child who had been ready to give and accept love but had never been given the chance to do either.
"Like what you see?" Crawford's sleepy voice broke the connection. Ken remained silent. "You know it's rude to poke around in someone's mind when they're sleeping."
"Why did you join Schwarz?" The question was out of Ken's mouth before he could stop it, and he could have kicked himself for such unSchuldich-like words.
Crawford paused and then turned to stare at the ceiling, a half-smile on his lips.
"Because they needed me," came the reply. "Because I was wanted. And maybe because I believed in what they were doing. The world never treated me fairly so why shouldn't I pay it the same respect?"
Ken said nothing, absorbing Crawford's words. No, that wasn't the right mindset, Ken wanted to say, but to do so meant betraying Schuldich's character. And yet, he couldn't remain quiet.
"But don't you think with a different attitude, the world might treat you better?"
Ken heard a soft chuckle, and regretted his naïve words.
"I'm ruthless, Schuldich. You should know that by now. Ruthless and manipulative. It's who I am."
The reminder of the part he was supposed to play silenced Ken once more. And as quiet descended upon the room, Ken couldn't help but be reminded of the comfortable - and sometimes not so comfortable - silences that he and Aya had shared. Aya...the thought of his teammate cause something to clench inside his chest. Tonight's events brought forth the memory of their brief kiss, juxtaposing itself with that of Crawford's.
~*~*~*~*~
The next few days passed with no significance to mark them whatsoever. Everything went according to routine, or so Ken assumed. And each night, Crawford visited his room, initiating some bedtime activities that Ken had never imagined. And Ken let him, be it from curiosity over these newfound sensations or from fear of being discovered, he didn't know. And after each session, they would exchange a few words or lie there in silence, their breathing the only audible sound in the room. But one thing Ken noticed was that Crawford never mixed his business with pleasure. By morning, the older man put on his mask again, assuming control over the group as if the previous night had never occurred. Ken marveled at the remarkable duality of such a character, certain that he could never live like that. He naturally expressed his mood and feelings on his face which made maintaining Schuldich's arrogant veneer all the more difficult.
He and Crawford were sifting through the newspaper one morning when Nagi broke the news.
"We've got a drop off point for the disks," the boy said. Ken put down his paper while Crawford merely raised his eyes from reading.
"We're to drop it off the midnight after tomorrow at a lab called Syntech."
"Syntech?" Ken asked.
"It's a lab that specializes in embryonic genetic manipulation. Not our usual sort of client, I admit. For all we know, they could be creating children with stronger abilities than ours," explained the boy.
Ken suppressed a snort of disgust as Nagi returned to his computer. Who were these people to think they could play God with innocent lives? He couldn't wait to inform Weiss. Once they knew, they could stop it, and perhaps bring down Schwarz in the process.
"Did you hear?" Ken looked at Crawford, who still had his head behind the newspaper.
"What?"
"That Weiss member you fought the other night, Hidaka Ken, is dead."
Ken felt the air leave his lungs and his head spin at those words. Dead? No, that's not right. He couldn't be dead. His body was supposed to live until he could get back in it. Then everything would be as it should be. He would see his friends again and they would continue on as if this whole fiasco was a closed chapter in their lives. In shock, Ken stood up and left the room without a word.
~*~*~*~*~
Attending one's own funeral really was surreal. Ken watched from afar as they lowered his body into the ground. The whole scene had a feeling of unreality to it, almost as if everything was a dream. Then again, everything had seemed like one big nightmare since Crawford had told him the news yesterday.
There were five dark figures standing around his grave: Aya, Youji, Omi, Manx, and Birman. |